M Steals My Material Because Her Material Makes No Sense

Seriously. The more I read her MI:3 review, the angrier I get, so let's go through her review line by line so I can flesh out the specific problems I have with it. My comments are in bold

I finally saw MI3 this weekend... I won't give away anything as many people have yet to see it, but it was pretty awesome.

What could you possibly give away? There was no plot, no development of characters, and no surprises at all. Other than that, it was "pretty radical"

JJ's Alias-y storytelling really shined through,

You mean that it had a story that didn't make sense, didn't go anywhere, and then just ended without explanation?

which of course I loved!

I guess that is what you meant then

Like many Alias episodes, the movie starts out with an adrenaline-causing torture scene; we the audience have no clue what's going on, but are immediately involved.

So we don't know what's going on, are not involved with any of the characters, so we are immediately involved? I was confused and wanted to take a nap.

Then, JJ goes back and tells the story that leads up to the scene, giving us the "oooohhhh" moment.

Or he just plays the same scene 2 hours later without explaining anything.

Of course, this only gets us through 4/5 of the movie, with a few great action scenes left.

You mean the scene where Tom Cruise calls the guy from Shaun of the Dead and runs alot? That scene? I guess it was better than the scene where Felicty wonders if she should sleep with Ben or Noel.

Another parallel to Alias was how during the missions, Ethan & co. talked about their private lives over their earpieces. It took me right back to the Season 1 Syd/Vaughn flirting.

You stole this observation from me. It's also stupid. Why does JJ Abrams do this

Finally - Keri Russell was amazing!

*chokes*

As one reporter put it - she really channeled her inside Sydney Bristow!

You mean she channeled a chronically untalented actress playing an unrealistic and vapid character??

She wasn't in a whole lot of the movie (as I'd hoped and expected)

Because she sucked?

but the parts she was in really showed that she is capable of way more than Felicity - can't wait to see her in more action flicks!

I hope you don't plan to bring your husband to these action flicks, because there's a strong liklihood he will slash his wrists with razor blades

Definitely get out to see this one... it's a great way to kick-off the summer blockbusters.

I guess I don't have anything wrong with this

Wow. I feel much better now.