Hiatus

Faithul readers: (which pretty much is limited to my sister and my college roommate!)

I will be away on vacation around the world for the next two weeks... so my blogging will be on a temporary hiatus. What I'm excited for when I return:

1. My TiVo'd Project Runways
2. Scrubs is returning!!!
3. OC moving to 9pm timeslot to replace reunion - which lets me watch Alias & Smallville in peace at 8pm on Thursdays.
4. New episodes of all my fave shows which haven't been on since Thanksgiving it seems!

The new year also gives a chance to reflect on those who have left us... so lets take a moment of silence for those shows that are in a better place.... Kitchen Confidential & Reunion, we'll always remember you!

Also, hold Arrested Development in your prayers... its in a coma of sorts, and hopefully ABC or Showtime will pick it up before it finally goes to that big network in the sky.

Happy New Year!

Too Twisted... Even for Me

So I watched F/X's Nip/Tuck last night... what a sick, twisted show. The reason I tuned in for the season finale is because my favorite TV reviewers (Kristin from E!, Ask Ausiello, Matt Roush) have all been hyping the episode because of the big reveal of a serial killer, "the Carver", that has been terrorizing the show all season. By reading the spoilers, I, too, became interested in seeing who the Carver was, even though I've never watched the show in my life, and didn't know any of the characters or other plot lines. This show had every demented plot that you could think of: murder, gore, rape, incest, ad-hoc surgery, transvestites, nazis, deformed babies, cutting off members with a box cutter... I'll admit defeat the rare times it happens - but this show was just too much for me. I thought that the graphic plastic surgury scenes would be a little nauseating, but they were like Disney scenes compared to everything else.

For those of you who don't watch, here's a quick summary: basically the doctor we thought was evil from the beginning of the show (Quentin) turned out to be the Carver, as a newcomer would have guessed from the moment we see him. But the twist was so was his sister (Kit), who coincidentally also happened to detective in charge of the Carver case (we didn't know they were sibs.) And by the way, after we see them escape to Malaga after faking Quentin's death, we are led to believe that they are probably incestuous. A secondary plotline revealed that the son of one of the main characters (Matt) was forced by his ex-girlfriend's crazy nazi father to cut off his other ex-girlfriend's penis. (They broke up when the son found out that he was dating a transvestite, and beat him up, but then his plastic surgeon dad "fixed" him because he felt bad and then they became friends.) A few other things happened in the episode, but I didn't even notice compared to these two plots.

For those of you who do watch, from the boards, I gather that you are unhappy with this ending, because of many, many plot holes. I can see why - even as a first time viewer, I wasn't that upended by the reveal.

Sorry, folks, this is a show that I just can't watch... all the weird stuff aside, I can't stand a plot with holes in it....

First Sark, Then Vaughn (Kind Of), Now Irena....

How GREAT was Alias last night... even at 8 months pregnant, Sydney is smart enough to subconsciously stop the bad guys... and then we find out.. they're not really bad at all... its her mother, Irena Derevko, behind it all!!

I know many people were dissappointed when they found out that Vaughn's return was only a hallucination... but I thought it was done magnificantly! All our favorite scenes re-done - altered to help Sydney through this bizarre, drug induced fog. Obviously the minute the "voice" showed concern about the baby's health we knew it would be Irena, but I'm glad that Lena Olin herself shows up in the final minutes of the episode (instead of reprising the terrible spoken IM messages that were shown in the beginning of Season 3 with Jack).

So this brings up so many questions!! First and foremost, what is Horizon.. notice that they have been looking for it for 30 years... isn't that about how old Sydney is?? Then Irena - is she part of the Watchman? Does she run it? How is she related to DeSantis? Is she related at all to Rene then? What are her plans for the baby? While this was a classic Alias, I hope this is the last one that opens any more questions... after the hiatus, the show will hopefully focus on ANSWERS.... although this episode made me very, very sad that this was the last season. 3 months until we find out...

Guilty Pleasures

Why oh why do I channel surf? Look at my picks - I clearly have enough TV to watch without getting hooked on anything new!! But I did... I ventured up to the triple digit numbers on Satellite and came across Bravo last night. Nothing against Bravo, but pretty much the only reason I know that channel exists is because of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy... a great show (but T refuses to be enlisted, much to my dismay!) Anyway, as I was saying, I came across Bravo and Project Runway. This is a show that I have heard a few people talk about (including my buddy J, who like me, will also watch anything that Matt Roush or Ausiello from TVGuide.com tells us to!) but I guess I always assumed that it was the same thing as Tyra's America's Next Top Model. Two mistakes: 1) I didn't realize that I would like to watch ANTM and 2) Project Runway is nothing like it... but its still fun to watch.

This show is about designers (not models)... these characters are a riot!! Ok, ok, I know they're "real people", but I'm a staunch believer in the fact that there's no such thing as "Reality" TV, and at the end of the show there is a long disclaimer flashed on the screen saying that cuts are made in conjuction with Bravo and the producers of the show... meaning, they keep the people that are interesting to watch. To be honest, I had to fast forward through a lot... Heidi Klum tends to repeat herself a million times, and there is a lot of dramatic pauses... so there is like 30 watchable minutes in the show, even though it is alloted a full hour. But Heidi is a very watchable host, and I love that she is pregnant but still looks incredible! Well, after two episodes in a row, I got hooked, and added it to the Season Pass.

Speaking of guilty pleasures, I fully intend on watching ABC's Dancing with the Stars this season... I heard it was a million times better than So You Think You Can Dance, and since its a short season (filling in Alias' timeslot while its on maternity hiatus for Jen Garner), I thought I'd give it a chance.

Victoria Secret Fashion Show

So this came up while channel surfing last night, and was strangely mesmerizing... a lot of it focused on the fact that this was Tyra Banks' "retirement" from being a fashion model, which of course drew me in because of my new strange facination with her... the whole thing kind of makes you want to never eat again... normally when I watch runway shows (which isn't often, but happens from time to time), I think, "okay, they're skinny as hell, but have no real womanly shape, and their faces are ugly"... not so with VS models... I guess to model underwear you pretty much NEED to have the womanly curves (while still looking like a size negative three) and these woman were GORGEOUS. The first thought that always comes to mind is: "At least I'm smarter than them!!" While this may be true, what is it really getting me? They have more money, more fun... well pretty much more of everything except food... but the food they DO eat is still much, MUCH more exquisite, to make up for quantity. It seemed entirely unfair... plus they got a night of wearing giant wings & bows (who wouldn't want to do that??) Anyway, just thought I'd share my off-beat night of TV... god I wish new episodes of ANY show would start again so I don't feel bad sitting in front of the TV with my Big Mac.

No Apologies

Because of the ridiculous North East snow storm, I have to work from home today.... of course the biggest perk of that is getting to do your work in front of the TV.... yes, I have just discovered the Ellen Show... the only downside of the whole thing that I can see is that I didn't know how great it was before. She has her own DJ! She just does whatever the hell she wants and it looks like so much fun! And she has better giveaways than Oprah... if you get a chance, take a look... NBC, weekdays at 10am.

My Wife Has a Problem

Nothing more needs to be said:

From: M
To: T
Subject: New find

I LOVE THE ELLEN SHOW. I want to go be part of the audience (except it films in stupid burbank).

Kate's Crime & ANTM

So... let me get this straight... Kate didn't kill Wayne because he abused her mother, or because he was hitting on her... but because he was her biological father? But she still (seemingly) had a great relationship with her other father? And then her mother just gave her up to the police? Okay... at first, I thought that this was a great crime she committed, especially as he tried to grab her just before she blew him up, but when she went into her explanation, it made her seem so.... sappy. Don't get me wrong, I loved the episode, but I definitely like her a little less. And now are Kate and Sawyer together? Argh, I love this show, but it will never be Alias to me.

Also... while waiting for Lost to come on, I watched my first full episode of America's Next Top Model... the reason I even bothered was because over thanksgiving break, I got to watch an episode of Tyra Banks' talk show, which I've heard is doing quite well... well the episode had a mini version of ANTM, and I kind of got into it, so I thought, why not watch the real thing? I can see why this show is so popular! Honestly, I normally hate reality tv, but this was kind of fun, because the girls are so stupid, and you know how I love to judge those kind of people! There was a whole "situation" where some girl ate some other girl's granola bar, so the second girl poured the first girl's red bull down the sink, and then REFUSED TO APOLOGIZE! What drama! Anyway, its almost a parody of itself, with Tyra as the ringleader, but still pretty enjoyable to watch. I don't know if its making the TiVo season pass or anything, but the next time I surf through, I may not be so quick to change the channel.

Busy Day

According to Kristen from EOnline, looks like Reunion is also getting the ax. I'm not too upset, as long as they tell us who ended up murdering Sam.

This is NOT the Next Friends

You know what I'm really sick of? Everyone looking for the "next Friends". Take for example Coupling... awful show (at least the US version) because it tried too hard to re-create a Friends type environment in the Friends timeslot. Now, to be fair, I absolutely loved Friends... I watched it until the bitter end. But the reason I loved it so much was because it was different than the other sitcoms that were on, not because it was the same formula as the comedies I loved before it (i.e. Perfect Strangers and Growing Pains)NBC has pretty much lost its ability to find a good comedy. The only good comedy it really has left is Scrubs, and the network doesn't even give that show the respect it deserves.

What I think the next great comedy is How I Met Your Mother... this has the potential to have a nice long 5 or 6 year run, and not get stale. I like this show because the plots seem fresh (not the stale recycled scripts that tend to take over sit-coms these days) and the cast is likeable. The show is really starting to come into its own - I like the fact that they are starting to bring in some secondary (possibly recurring) characters, like the bartender in last night's episode. Also in last night's episode, they never solved the mystery of the pineapple... how great would it be to find out where the pineapple came from out of nowhere in a random episode in Season 3? (Hopefully the show makes it that far!) What else I like about the show is that the writers have said that Ted (the main character) most likely won't meet his wife in Season 1. Right now they seem to be focusing on his love story with Robin (apparently his wife's sister)... another good episode for a future season could be a "flash-forward" (as opposed to a "flash-back", where we actually meet "current Ted", his wife, and Aunt Robin... and see the interactions. And then of course there has to be a wedding episode eventually, and there is always plenty to work with during a wedding! Definitely get on this train while they are still laying the groundwork for future inside jokes.... afterall, this could be the next... well, nevermind. CBS, Monday's at 8:30.

I'm Done Pouting

Okay - I'm done pouting for the end of Alias... truth be told, I'm just glad that they pulled it together for Season 5, because I wouldn't have been able to take another Season 4 anyway... hopefully they'll answer the big questions, and really bring the story to a satisfying conclusion. Here's what I'm looking for:

1. Are Irena, Jack and Sloan "good" or "evil"?
2. What are Jack & Sloan plotting?
3. What happened to Irena?
4. What was Rambaldi's end game? Is he still alive (or can he be resurrected?)
5. Was it the Prophecy that came true at the end of Season 4, or is it yet to be realized? Is the Prophecy about Sydney, Irena or somebody else?
6. Is Michael Vaughn really dead?
7. What is Prophet 5? (How is Mueller related to Rambaldi?) And who are the Watchmen?
8. What is the SAB 47 project *really*?
9. What are the explicit answers to all the questions Lauren asked Sydney right before she got shot at the end of Season 3?
10. What was the questionable item on Thomas Grace's resume?

After the hiatus, I expect the show to have very detailed, very plot driven episodes until the finale, where the Rambaldi end game is revealed. Hopefully they'll keep it after Lost on Wednesdays, which is a much better fit. Actually, a good line up for Wednesdays would be Alias at 8, Lost at 9 and Invasion at 10. I guess we'll have to wait until March and see!

Alias is Over

Well sports fans - this day has been coming since the ridiculous first episode of Season 4. As of May 2006, the Alias saga will be over... Click here for details.

Mothwoman

Okay, now I normally love Las Vegas, but last night's demise of Monica (Laura Flynn Boyle) was a little over the top - the concept could have been really cool if it was executed properly - but the whole thing was so... hokey. I mean, its not even like the gust really carried her fast! Danny could have totally saved her if he wanted to. Also, Mary's boobs have got to be put back in her dress. They are looking so saggy, you have to look away. I am excited for Dean Cain's return though - Sam Marquez is definitely the best character, and I like seeing her interact with her ex. I guess we still have yet to learn who will "never set foot in the Montecito again" - hopefully, this time they will put some effort into it.

Channel surfing over to How I Met Your Mother... love the Erikson family recipe for Thanksgiving salad (16 cups of mayo will make anything delicious!) This show has so much potential, I almost wish it wasn't on CBS (aka, the old person's network)...

From Sunday, Desperate Housewives is starting to seem more like a chore than anything else... and its way overdue for creepy George to leave...

Over the weekend I got booted from the TiVo by T and the boys watching Sunday Ticket (this is a weekly event), and I caught Spanglish on HBO - I love this movie so much... this is when I really saw that Adam Sandler was a good actor. If you haven't seen it, I definitely recommend it! (Although, you may never be able to take Tea Leoni seriously again!)

Too Many Cooks...

So, along with Arrested Development, Bradley Cooper's Kitchen Confidential also got cancelled... how Fox can cancel a show after its only aired twice is a mystery to me... what's more of a mystery to me is how Freddie (also a show about a chef, but terrible) is going 4 or 5 episodes strong, with no signs of it being cancelled... how wrong is that? Bradley Cooper is a million times the actor that Freddie Prince Jr. is (also, you're not 12 anymore, must you insist upon going by "Freddie"???) To continue my list of annoyances with this whole situation, the Alias reunion on KC was supposed to happen tonight with guest star Michael Vartan, but they even postponed that until December after sweeps, bumping it for repeats of Prison Break instead. This is all Baseball's fault - if Fox didn't have to break for a million episodes just for baseball, I bet KC would have gained momentum and stayed on the air.

Well, I'll still tell you to watch - maybe Fox will give its new show a chance once its actually aired it.... keep an eye out for new eps in December!

I hate you all

Arrested Development just got canceled.

You people ruin everything.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051111/tv_nm/shows_dc

Solo

I am just thrilled with Alias this season... its like falling in love all over again. I've loved Rachel's quote last night: "I'm just going to put on my strappy shoes and my teeny dress... and by this time tomorrow we'll see if I can do it or not." Rachel's story is running quite parallel to Syd's Season 1 with the whole leaving an evil org to join the real CIA... the question is this: is it TOO perfectly parallel? Could Rachel be evil? I think I would like her even better if she were... (I started loving Lauren Reed after she turned out evil.) This would be even better, because Sydney never liked Lauren, so it made everyone feel better when she turned... but we all like Rachel, how heart-wrenchingly awesome would it be if she was evil all along too? I don't think she works for Dean, but maybe she's a big part of the Prophet 5 gang? Speaking of Dean - he's a terrible bad guy. To be honest, he just doesn't seem smart enough to lead a large terrorist organization... and while I was liking Amy Acker this season so far, her acting last night was terrible, and I'm ready for Rachel to get rid of her now (need I remind you of the terribly emotionless line "You bitch... I was going to feel bad about killing you, but now its just going to be fun"). All in all, it was still a great episode - I enjoy watching Renee Rienne in action, and Sydney using her pregnancy again and again as her aliases... Also, I think enough was said last night to believe that Sydney had nothing to do with Vaughn's death. (Yes, Vaughn is dead, get over it.) However, Jack's involvement could still be questionable... Can't wait until next week!!!

Doogie Rocks

Being Neil Patrick Harris free is not a good thing - right now, he's proving himself to be one of the funniest characters on TV... unless you count the "acting" on LG - that's pretty funny too I guess.

Uhhhhhh. . . who cares?

Who cares if it's not real? It's entertaining, which is more than I can say about the crap you subject yourself to. As a bonus, Laguna Beach is completely Neil Patrick Harris free.

Hands Off Ladies!

The other day T came up to me, looking kind of sad - "You were right!" he said. Now as you can guess, these words are rarely uttered from his mouth (to be fair, its not like they're pouring out of mine all the time, but that's because I am always right.) So of course, I had to know about what.... "Laguna Beach isn't real... they only tape on Thur - Sat and if something interesting happens during the other times, then they have to re-enact it..." (key word here being re-enACT....). So you're saying that (long pause) reality tv isn't REAL?????????? ALERT THE MEDIA.

Don't be jealous now girls, T is all mine. Gosh, he's such a manly man.

Ask and Thou Shalt Receive

There's been some drama up in the LB! (that's Laguna Beach for the uninitiated).

The last episode I watched may have been the high point of the season. Jason and LC have now been dating for about 2 or 3 episodes, and you just know know it's only a matter of time before Jason gets his hand caught in the cookie jar. . .

The kids organized a fashion show/fundraiser for some sort of Laguna Beach landslide. Fairly hilarious in and of itself because I'm not sure these kids have ever dealt with anything substantial (unless you count getting mommy into rehab). At any rate LC organized the event, and while she was working, Jessica (Jason's ex) started getting all flirty with Jason and they ended up making out. What followed was a hilarious sequence of events.

1. LC catches Jessica and Jason making out (after LC had already told her what a rude girl she was and Jessica played dumb)

2. Jason tries to be nice to LC, but she won't have anything to do with him

3. Dieter confronts Jason about kissing Jessica. Jason admits it, but says Jessica threw herself at him

4. Dieter calls Jessica (with Jason there) to ask about it. Jessica denies everything, and is called a lying bitch by everyone involved.

5. LC and Jason both leave with sad music playing.

Beat that Macenzie "Mac" Allen

Can We Have An Update Please?

T -

Can you please update our readers on the latest happenings on Laguna Beach? I think everyone is dying to know what's happening on your "quality TV".

- M (on behalf of your twelve year old girl audience)

Don't Watch Tonight

I've never seen Commander in Chief because frankly, it looks quite stupid. It has a crappy impossible premise (A woman will never be president, their periods make them crazy and emotional), a washed up actress lead, and it seems very boring to me. M's post made me want to go to sleep. I concocted reasons why I thought the show and its characters were stupid after reading her post.

Mackensie "Mac" Allen: Mac sounds like a guy's name from a 1940s movie. Also, why the hell would a Republican or Democrat have an independent as a VP? That's incredibly stupid. Almost as stupid as keeping your maiden name when you get married. Married women are property as far as I understand it. Plus Geena Davis is not attractive. This whole show would be better if they made the president hot. . . I think Giselle or Jessica Alba would have been a much better choice.

Rod Calloway: Wow he sounds like an incredibly pathetic insecure guy. He probably talks about his feelings alot. That sure makes for compelling television

Horrace, Rebecca & Amy Calloway: Besides for George Michael in Arrested Developement, kids should not be in TV shows. These subplots seem very Gilmore Girlish. How can kids be in the show anyway, everybody knows that a woman with a job can't have kids!

Nathan Templeton: Oh my gosh the bad guy is an evil white Republican male???? How clever of the writers.

Jim Gardner: Real men don't "struggle internally" unless you're talking about a bowel movement. This guy sounds like an even bigger vagina than the husband.

Kelly Ludlow: A woman as press secretary that went to Princeton? As far as I understand it, most women aren't able to read or write and Princeton doesn't even admit women. That's some faulty research by the writers right there.

So there you have the reasons why all these characters suck. This is why you shouldn't watch tonight. You should watch My Name is Earl followed by The Office. I think college football is on as well. God M's viewing habits make me want to hurt myself.

Tune In Tonight

Commander in Chief is on ABC tonight at 9pm. Watch it. They have managed to pretty much write out the annoying little girl (I guess much of the audience shared the same annoyance as me), and Speaker Donald Sutherland is getting to a nice simmering evil point. Even Natasha Henstridge is doing well as his evil (but of course beautiful) henchman. Also, I think Geena Davis is really cast perfectly for this role - just fem enough to show you that you don't have to "be a man" to run the country, but strong enough to show that just cause you're a woman, you won't be run over, either. If you haven't been watching here's what's happened so far so that you can enjoy tonight's episode:

Mackensie "Mac" Allen: Was VP for a Republican President (she herself is actually Independant)... when the President realized he was dying, he told her to step down and let the Speaker take the Presidency. When he did die, she decided to go against his wishes and take the presidential oath, leaving the Republican Party seethingly vengeful. (The democrats don't like her much either.) Basically, everyone is out to get her. Oh and by the way - she has kept her maiden name.

Rod Calloway: Mac's husband, who used to be her chief of staff, until she arrived at the oval office. Mac said that she didn't want it to look like her husband was running the country, so she hired the ex-president's COS and he's been licking his wounds like a kicked puppy every since. For the past few episodes, we've seen him struggle to be the "First Gentleman", and now he's going to be the first "First Person" to ever have a real job outside the whitehouse, as the Commissioner of Baseball. Not very supportive of him! This is creating a lot of tension in their marriage, and I'm sure the media will be all over it.

Horrace, Rebecca & Amy Calloway: Mac's kids. Horrace & Rebecca are 16 year old twins; Horrace is the affable one, Rebecca is the moody one. Horrace supports his mother, Rebecca is Republican and told her mother to step aside for the Speaker to take charge. Right now, Horrace is inlove with the Press Secretary, and Rebecca is dating one of Horrace's friends - this does not make Horrace happy. Oh - and Rebecca just got her Secret Service detail, Joan, fired because she asked for some "private time" to make out with her boyfriend... and *now* feels guilty. Amy is an annoying little brat that I'm hoping they will write out of the script, or use her only as a prop or something.

Nathan Templeton: Evil Speaker of the House - always trying to bring Mac down. His COS is Jayne Murray - we don't know how evil she is yet, but so far, pretty much does whatever Templeton tells her to.

Jim Gardner: Mac's COS - struggles internally because he knows that the President asked Mac to step aside, but knows that she is an inherantly good person, so takes care of her. Templeton still tries to "use" him as one of his resources, but you can tell that he is straying from the party over to Mac's side.

Kelly Ludlow: Mac's old speech writer - now the White House press secretary (and courtesy of a great scene from 2 episodes ago, we know she's Phi Beta Kappa from Princeton). She's still finding her footing with this recent promotion, but she's somebody who is genuninely on Mac's team, and Mac knows its.

So that's the basic plot recap - no excuses - tune in.

Desperate for Good Plot

Alright... what is going on with Desperate Housewives? Last night's episode actually had me yawning, except for the last scene which made me want to jump inside the television and slap Teri Hatcher across the face. Since you can tell I'm growing pretty fond of making lists, here are my top three reasons for why this show is becoming terrible:

1. The Anti-Friends Cast: I know we've all heard much too much about how the cast of Friends were all "really friends"... they always had ensemble photo ops, they always stuck together during contract negotiations, they were in eachother's weddings... etc, etc. As nauseatingly saccharine as that all sounded - it worked, and they got 10 seasons out of it - not to mention a whole lot of fortune and fame. All we hear about the Desperate Housewives is how much they hate eachother, namely because they all think that Teri Hatcher was getting all the promo (which seemed to have been resolved by pretty much writing her out of the script!) This back-stage cattiness is definitely affecting the show - all the actresses are now totally hamming up their characters to be over-exaggerated versions of their first-season selves; they are trying to show the TVland audience why they are the reason for the show's success - and for *some* reason, it isn't working. (Who knew that bad acting leads to bad TV?) This can be easily demonstrated by Teri Hatcher's ridiculous crying scene at the end of last night's episode.

2. Independent Plot Lines: Maybe because of Reason #1, each character's plotlines seem to be unwoven from the rest. Last season, the Housewives were focused on solving the mystery of Mary Alice, but this season, we've only seen one girl's poker lunch, and some forced dialogue among the neighbors at Rex's funeral... we don't care about the separate lives of these people - can we please have the residents of Wisteria Lane start talking to each other again?

3. Red State Syndrome: Yes - this syndrome can be blamed for a lot of what is wrong with TV these days. (Plus, I am obviously pretty pleased with myself for working this phrase twice into a TV blog.) Anyway, for some reason, this show has "cleaned itself up" quite a bit. The reason we tuned in every week in the first place was because of the racy, gossip-warranted plot lines - sex, drugs, murder, blackmail, kidnapping - prime time drama at its best. But what has happened this season so far? About 50% of air time is dedicated to Bree NOT sleeping with the lunatic pharmacist. The rest of the time is spent showing Gabrielle NOT cheating on her husband, Lynette having a good work/life balance (with subtle hints that she should just stay at home like a "good" mother anyway), Edie (of all people!) going to church and Susan dying to get married. Even the new Applewhite family's secret turned out to be pretty good-intentioned.... is anyone else sick of these moral lessons? Housewives built up its rep by dishing dirt - if its not going to give us the juicy stuff any more, then its just going to become a waste of time.

Actually...

... I rather liked Sports Night.

M is a Liar

Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't written in so long, but blogging is kind of lame. I didn't realize that your audience would chastise you simply because you decided to take a break (you all know who you are, I recommend you try getting lives of some sort)

At any rate, M has not even watched all of the DVDs of Arrested Development Seasons 1 and 2. I know because she yelled at me and told me that I was a jerk for not waiting to watch them with her. I felt bad for a minute, but then I remembered that I if you just furrow your brow and nod while she yells at you, eventually she will stop speaking and go into the other room. So that's a positive.

This show is incredible. In fact, when it gets canceled, it will be held up as a shining example as to why people are idiots. Normally, the "best show you're not watching" is bullshit. I don't watch it because it sucks. Sports Night is what comes to mind here. Do you remember that show? Me either.

I do think the show is funnier if you've watched all the epidoses though. There are alot of inside jokes and harkening back to past episodes. So buy the DVD:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0002PYS7Y/102-3567289-6011352?v=glance&n=130&n=507846&s=dvd&v=glance

Buy it with Season 2 and you save 10 bucks.

I'm Back

After a short hiatus, I'm back to the blog and judging all things on TV. But let me take this time to talk about one of my current favorites, Arrested Development: Just finished Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD. For all of you who are still yearning for the days of Seinfeld... here is your relief. This show is irreverent, insulting, akward, rude... and sometimes, just plain wrong... and that's just a few of the reasons I love it. T and I have slightly differing opinions on why this hilarious half hour is always on the brink of being cancelled. Here are some of the arguments:

1) Red States Syndrome - a recent "family" poll qualified this show as one of the five worst shows to watch with your family. That should only make you want to watch it more.

2) Bad Marketing - nobody has really heard about this show, I have no clue why - its won millions of awards, but for some reason, just doesn't get the press. I believe it always wins the "Best Show You're Not Watching" category. Well, I'm trying to fix that: WATCH IT.

3) This is T's favorite reason - most of the jokes build on back story, so its hard to get in to. I will strongly disagree with this. I actually didn't start watching until the end of season 1, and then only watched every now and then until we got our TiVo... I guess a lot of the jokes are funnier if you had watched previous episodes, but guess what - that's what DVDs are for. But I still think that you can jump right in - there is no serious plot line - and all relationships are basically explained through the narrator of the show (Ron Howard.)

Anyway - if you are looking for seriously ridiculous situations, with no salute to political correctness at all, watch Arrested Development.

Gilmore Girls Meets Felicity

So, completely by mistake, I have happened upon a new show - the WB's Related. It happened the weekend which began the million straight days of rain on the east coast - obviously this meant a TV & chinese food Saturday night, and since T was out of town, I was able to watch my girly TV shows in peace. Now, I finished up my week's TiVo and it was only about 6pm.. what to do? I actually switched on - wait for it - REGULAR TV. It was weird. (Apparently there are still these things called commercials?) Anyway, Related was on, and since there was nothing else to watch, I figured - new WB show? Lets give it a try - and thank god I did! I Love this show! Now, I've never actually been a Gilmore Girls viewer - not because I think I won't like it, (I actually think I would love it,) but more because it never happened and now its too late (I'll have to add it to the Netflix queue at some point.) But what all the GG fans always claim they love about the show is the fast talking and the good relationship between the mother & daughter - Related has the same thing going on, except its between 4 sisters. The 4 Sorelli sisters (okay, that's a bit obvious, even for my poor Italian skills, but we'll let it go...) seem to range from 19 to late 20's/early 30's. There is the college age sister that just switched from a pre-med to alternative theatre major (hence the Felicity reference), the early 20s sister who is ditzy and just moved back home, the second oldest sister who just broke up with her long term boyfriend and the oldest sister who just got pregnant with her live-in, aussie(?) boyfriend. And then of course the father (who I think is the dad from My So Called Life) who just got engaged to an annoying yet we-may-just-end-up-liking-her woman. There is a ton of plot lines going on, but the sisterly feeling is really nice, and the stories don't seem forced (i.e. I like that none of them are married - as that is more common for girls in their 20s these days.) Although, according to TVGuide.com, this show may not last long - but as long as its on the air, I would definitely recommend you catch it. I believe new shows are on Wednesdays at 9, but they might be moving it to Mondays at the same time.

High Point: The pregnant sister's boyfriend - let's just say he's "easy on the eyes".
Low Point: The college-age sister is teetering on the line of being an incredibly annoying character. Right now, she'll get the benefit of the doubt... but if the show gets cancelled, I will blame her entirely.

I Also Hate Hugo

Last night's episode of Lost on ABC was pretty annoying. In my previous review of Invasion, I said that the reason Lost was good and Invasion wasn't was because of the mystery - well, let me amend that... We still need*some* answers to keep us interested. In last night's episode - nothing happened! We saw some more backstory of Hurly, but so what?? All it helped us understand was his decision to have a huge feel good banquet at the end of the episode so that people wouldn't hate him for the next month because he was holding out on food. What else happened? We found out that Sawyer's, Jin's & Michael's captors were not "the others" but actually survivors from the back of the plane (including Rose's husband who is - big gasp here - white! OH MY GOD - INTERACIAL MARRIAGE!!) But we knew they were the survivors in the last episode when Michelle Rodriguez spilled the beans. The only interesting thing that was revealed was that they are living in another Dharma bunker - and that most of their survivors have since died. But this was all contained within the secondary plot, with maybe a total of 10 minutes of a 40+ minute show - if this was the primary plot, and the flashbacks were related to these new characters - that would have been a much better episode. Looks like JJ is too involved with MI3 to care how his pet project is moving forward - too bad the writers can't really fend for themselves... stay tuned for next week.

Mars Attacks

Yes, I am very behind on the TiVo, but I finally watched the first 2 episodes of ABC's Invasion last night (I believe I still have one epsiode to catch up with, and then there is a new episode tonight.) Now, I have to admit at first I was a little angry at this show, because it bumped Alias from Wednesday nights... and once the shows started stacking on the TiVo, its hard for me to sit down and catch up with a show that I'm not emotionally involved with (is it wrong to use that phrase for a tv show instead of a guy?) But I decided to give it a chance anyway...

... at best, I'd say this show was okay (for now). Continuing on one of my usual gripes, I don't like the little girl - they are pushing too hard to make her Bo from M. Night Shyamalan's Signs (same "creepy" voice, weird foresight..etc) but she doesn't have nearly the same acting skills as the young actress from the movie. ABC is really trying to capitalize on the Sci-Fi-ish/Drama trend that's going on (thank you Lost), as are a lot of other shows that I have even less interest for (i.e. Supernatural, Surface, Threshold). Something about this show is seriously missing - the formula, or perhaps anti-formula, that works so well for Lost and Alias is that you don't know what's going on... you don't know the characters backgrounds, you don't know how they're really connected, you don't know what's really driving the mysterious things that are going on - you get to actually use your brain while watching these shows, thinking about past plot, foreshadowing, clues that won't be relavent until 10 episodes later.... In Invasion, you pretty much know that some alien is involved from the getgo (aliens always seem like such a cop out to me). It removes a lot of the mystery from the show. Okay, I guess I realize the whole premise of the show is on an Alien "Invasion", but does it have to be so cliched??? I'm going to give it a season, because there is a lot of potential... obviously, there is going to be some kind of government cover-up, but they could throw an interesting twist in there. Obviously there are pod-people walking around, but that too can become less spoon-fed to the audience. I think this show is not giving us enough credit as the viewers... once Invasion starts respecting us, I think the show can become really good. I guess we'll see.

High Point: Guessing what the Sheriff is up to - he seems pretty evil, and he has obviously orchestrated some of this "cover up".
Low Point: The crazy I-want-to-be-Jack-Black brother in law who's conspiracy theories are going to turn out to be true - its so predictable it hurts.

I Hate Baseball

This time of year always reminds me of just how much I hate baseball... normally, its a passive kind of hate, like: "M, do you like baseball?" "No, I freakin' hate baseball - next topic please." But during playoffs (or whatever you call it for baseball), it takes away from my TV time, and that makes me angry. So some of my favorite shows are on temporary hiatus, including The OC, Family Guy, Arrested Development, Kitchen Confidential... and I'm sure more that I'm just not remembering right now out of anger. (Oh yeah, Reunion.) Why, why, why do we watch a billion hours of this boring sport (the only high point of which is the endless supply of hot dogs - but that's only if they trick you to go and watch live) when we could have some nice scripted TV going on??? Normally I can count on Fox to do the absolutely wrong, un-PC thing... but then every year they have their annual let down. I wish somebody would just hit me over the head with a bat to put me out of my sports watching misery.

HOWEVER, on another, less angry/psychotic note, the more I watch How I Met Your Mother the more I am loving this show. Doogie really just steals the show, but the ensemble is very similar to early Friends episodes... they're still ironing out their interactions with eachother, but I have a good feeling that it won't get stale. Things from last night that I loved: sock-monkeys, hotdogs for just a nipple, doogie stomping off in anger because his friend dumped a porn star, the ex-girlfriend getting upset because she's not "f-able". (Something I just realized is that I have no clue what any of the characters' names are...) In any case, this show is hilarious... T makes fun of me for watching CBS "old people" shows, but this one is pretty original and manages a crude joke or two, while still remaining within the boundries of Big Brother FCC.

Still Hungry

Sad news - FX has officially cancelled Starved. Its really sad - here's the link.

Why Aren't You Watching These Shows?

1. Alias (obviously) - everyone should be watching this by now. There has never been better writing on television EVER - the plot is so forward thinking, that questions from season 1 are still being answered now in season 5 - and there are rarely any loose ends that are left wriggling around. Watch this show now.

2. Las Vegas - I am not a CSI/Law & Order fan - and I think people like me who don't like those shows get scared off by this one, thinking its similar. Well, let me tell you -its not the same. The acting is great, lead by James Caan, plots are interesting and it never gets old watching beautiful people do interesting things in Las Vegas. Although I'm a little sad they wrote off Nessa's character (rumors say she wasn't getting enough air time so she left), its still a great ensemble caset.

3. Arrested Development - This show is what The War At Home is striving to be - dysfunctional families at its best. The lines from this show are so random, that you can't help but laugh out loud. Plus they make fun of the Blue Man Group, lawyers, roofies, white collar crime, the military, and anything else you can think of... this is one of the few scripted comedies that is original and not trying to teach you a lesson in life. I hate learning life lessons.

4. The Office - No, this is not the same as Ricky Gervais' Office - but its damn funny nonetheless. Steve Carrell really knows his way around a comedy script (Anchorman, The 40 year old virgin, The Daily Show)... I don't think anybody could deliver these lines any better. The characters are so purposefully akward, its reminiscent of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Give this show a chance - it may take a few tries to "get" the humor, but once you're there, you'll never leave.

5. Scrubs - This show is HILARIOUS. There are rumors that they are going to bring this show back in a couple of weeks instead of in January - thank god. This is the anti-ER, which is good, because I hate ER. The only downside is that they tend to have a lesson at the end - but they do it with a character montage and a great song, so I don't mind as much. Plus the theme song is excellent.

Commander In Chief

I finally got around to watching the first episode of ABC's Commander In Chief. I wasn't sure what to expect - but I actually really liked the show! Geena Davis was pretty good (except it looks as though she recently had a LOT of botox done - I would like to see what she can do after a few weeks when she can actually have facial expressions.) I liked Donald Sutherland as the speaker of the house - *just* evil enough. I think it's interesting that they went with a Republican office - but I guess they did that to offset the West Wing - and anyway, Davis is supposedly an independent. I thought it would be overly cheese-y, but the only character I truly disliked was the youngest daughter (I hate cute children on TV or on any other media for that matter- it's simply nauseating.) Actually, I could pretty much do without all the kids - but it looks like they're trying to do something interesting with the older daughter not supporting her. And you KNOW I love the husband being constantly referred to as the first lady.

I guess the woman-trying-to-make-it-in-a-man's-world theme of the show really got to me - as a working professional in a highly technical arena, I feel condescended to all the time. (is condescended a word?) Its nice to see (even a fictional) woman bossing some men around for once. This one could be either good or really good - I hope its the latter.

High Point: The tension between Geena Davis and Donald Sutherland.
Low Point: The kids in the show - they ruin everything. I was really, REALLY annoyed when the youngest spilled juice all over Geena Davis in the limo before the big speech. That's what babysitters are for.

Second Chances

So, my friend J (who is as much of a professional TV watcher as I am) convinced me not to give up on Grey's Anatomy. She told me that it was actually in her top 3 favorites right now - this means a lot because we are basically the same person (she also likes to judge people and everything else) and if its in her top 3, that means it should probably be in mine too. We've made a deal where she'll keep all this season in her TiVo, and I'll watch after Season 1 gets released on DVD. I am putting a lot of faith in her - so I hope she's right. Stay tuned for my Grey's Anatomy review in the upcoming few months....

In other news, I watched the second to last episode of So You Think You Can Dance last night... to my delight, Blake got voted off! Was he one of the best dancers on the show? Probably. But I hated him, so I'm pretty happy about the whole thing. In case you care, I would like either Nick or Melody to win.

Also, the season finale (hopefully series finale) of Beautiful People continued the trend of being one of the worst shows on television. Please put me out of my misery and cancel this show - I just can't go through another season. All the same, I'm really glad that Sophie chose Nicky over Giddeon. Actually, I hate Sophie, so I wish she chose Giddeon so that she made the wrong choice and her life was miserable. Actually, I hate myself for know who Sophie, Nicky and Giddeon are.

AKA The Best Show Ever

Alias is BACK. Season 5 started off running, and hopefully it won't slow down anytime soon. I am a die hard fan, and last year the first two thirds of the season was TERRIBLE. (Although, I must say the last third of the season came back and drew me back in.) Everything that was wrong with last season seems to be fixed within the first half of the episode. Here's the top three things that I think show that Alias is back on track:

1. Great Ending of the Episode: Last season, each episode seemed to wrap up so nice and cleanly. This may work for your average drop-in-when-you-have-time drama, but part of the formula that makes Alias so great is that it always leaves you hungry. Well, consider me starving.

2. New nefarious characters: Except for last season, each preceding season brought in awesome new characters that tried to screw up Sydney's life. Last season had no "good" new bad guys - Elena had potential but was totally underdeveloped, which was dissappointing. (To be fair, Nadia was fairly new and a great character, but again, they could have done more with her, and technically she was brough in with S3 anyway.) Last night showed the beginning of great "evil" characters. The only thing that would be the icing on this delicious cake would be if they brought back Sark. Sark is the best bad guy in the history of television period.

3. Good Evil Organization: Each successful season always clearly had somebody or some organization you knew you could blame things on - i.e. SD6 & the Covenant. Last season, it was a different person/organization every few episodes, so you couldn't focus on one recurring plot. It was annoying and bland. This season, we know there's going to be one main group to blame, and I couldn't be happier.

Now, I know people are upset by Vaughn's "death" - but this is Alias! Nobody is really dead! Get over it, and keep watching... it will only get better from here...

You won't be back

From WaPo chat:

Chantilly, Va.: Paul: any thoughts on the non-renewal of The Comeback on HBO? I was one of the devoted watchers. I liked it a lot.

Paul Farhi: A shame. A real shame. Lisa Kudrow was extraordinary. It almost hurt to watch that thing. Bring it back.

Another weight on the TiVo bites the dust. I always love watching M's shows wither away and die one by one. . .it's funny how shocked she gets when she finds out she's literally the only one out there who's amused by Neil Patrick Harris or Lisa Kudrow (although apparently Paul Farhi is also amused. . . someone should set up those two)

Also, Lisa Kudrow was extraordinary only if you find incredibly annoying characters compelling. That show sucked. Good riddence.

Making the Cut

So, since I was traveling all last week, I finally got a chance to catch up with all the new fall shows that premiered for '05... it was interesting, and a lot of shows failed to make the cut for my TV schedule for fall 05. Here's the results of Round 1 (I'll update on my returning favorites soon...):

The War at Home: If this is supposed to be funny, then I would like to be left for dead on the battlefield. While I'm not a candidate for PC-person of year, showing outrage at a possible gay son is stale humor and just didn't do it for me.
Final Answer: No

Beautiful People: I feel like a crack addict - I know this stuff is bad for me, probably making me stupid, and T may just leave me for saying this, but I'm going to finish up the season and watch the finale tonight. Terrible, terrible show, and I don't recommend it at all - I want to cry for myself.
Final Answer: Sadly, Yes.

Rome: I was sick of studying Roman history to watch TV. The show got too complicated for my simple mind, so I stopped watching. However, T (who was against the show to start with) is now a fan. Go figure.
Final Answer: No

How I Met Your Mother: I have a feeling this show is going to be good. Doogie is doing a good job as the idiot best friend, and I like seeing "band camp" girl pretty much reprises her American Pie role - she was funny then, and she continues to be here. The one-liners are pretty strong, which is pretty much what a comedy needs to sustain itself.
Final Answer: Yes

Kitchen Confidential: I'm going to call this show "What Will Tippin is doing while he's under the Witness Protection Program". (For you non-Alias fans, BC used to be a regular.) It looks pretty funny - I like the band of misfits he's put together and this show definitely had a strong start.
Final Answer: Yes

Prison Break: Sorry Prison Break - I already have too much to watch, and it just didn't keep my attention... I saw on the TiVo that I was two shows behind and just didn't care enough to catch up. Its officially deleted from the Season Pass List.
Final Answer: No

My Name Is Earl: This show is hilarious. I love Jason Lee, and Jaime Presley as the hillbilly wife totally cracked me up. Any show that makes fun of Caron Daley is definitely a keeper.
Final Answer: Yes

Supernatural: I couldn't even care enough to watch the season premier. There is absolutely no buzz on this show, so since I like to follow the water cooler pack, I'm just going to delete from TiVo.
Final Answer: No

Reunion: This show is a pretty cool concept - I think it could definitely do more with its premise, but I like it anyway. I hope they get a *little* more creative on the suspense piece - its more that I feel like I should be pondering certain questions rather than I actually wonder them. It doesn't have the same feel as a Desperate Housewives, which is what I think its aiming for, but the acting and the plot is good enough to keep coming back.
Final Answer: Yes

Starved: I know I've said this before, but any show with the motto "Its Not Okay" wins my vote. Unfortunately the season is over, and I heard its probably not going to get renewed. When it comes out on DVD, I strongly recommend you get it.
Final Answer: Yes

Twins: This show sucks.
Final Answer: No, No, No

M is a TiVo Hog

Last night, as I settled down to watch Monday Night Football, I noticed that a multitude of shows were scheduled to record.

8:00 PM: Arrested Development- This show is funny, no problem here, plus I could still watch football on the other receiver

8:30 PM: How I Met Your Mother/Kitchen Confidential- So now I can't watch football on my big screen TV, due to Neil Patrick Harris being prominently involved. Are you kidding me?

9:00 PM: Prison Break/Las Vegas- I've seen Las Vegas before and it's okay (it's certainly not at the level M attributes to it), but I don't see where the hell Prison Break is going. Not that I've ever watched it. . . I'm still in the bedroom watching football on my little TV.

9:30 PM: Prison Break/Las Vegas- Both of these shows are an hour, so football is still being compromised by lame TV

10:00 PM: Laguna Beach: The Real OC- M's programs are now done. . . Order is restored.

High Point: The end of the Cowboys/Redskins game was pretty awesome

Low Point: Having to watch football on the tiny TV in the bedroom because M is a TiVo hog. . . Did I mention that she's not even at home? So she's hogging the TiVo from a distance, she could easily watch some of those shows at her hotel room. Also, it's lame that she's posting anonymous comments about how people have viewed her profile more (see entry below). How very childish.

Mike Tice is a Gorilla

Seriously, I know this is a TV blog, but after their performance yesterday, The Vikings don't even belong on TV. I think an Arena League team could have put up a better effort than they did on Sunday. It was disgusting.

Why does football season have to be ruined for me every year?

High Point: Please.

Low Point: Chad Johnson's 80 yard touchdown catch, T.J. Houshmanzadah's reverse for a touchdown, Cincy's 337 yards of offense in the first half, Michael Bennett's 2 turnovers, Duante Culpepper's 5 turnovers, etc.

Actually, the low point was knowing that I am a Vikings fan and I have 14 more weeks of this. Pathetic.

Lost - 100; Grey's Anatomy - 0

So.... I have finally started watching Lost. (I know, a little late.) But, this was part of a master plan, that is totally working out just as I hoped it would. I knew that lost was produced by J.J. Abrams, the producer of my favorite show in the whole world, Alias. I knew that JJ is all about cliffhangers, so I thought - why torture myself with a season's worth of cliffhangers, when I can just watch all the shows at once right before Season 2 starts. Thank god I did it this way - this show is AWESOME. Now, its not going to top Alias or anything, but it is still really, really, really good. If you haven't already, watch season 1 right now. And then start watching again on September 28.

Now, you're probably wondering why Grey's Anatomy is in the title.... its because I had the same plan for it. Not for the same reasons (I didn't think that the show would be nail-bitingly suspenseful or anything) but more because it didn't really catch my interest, so I thought I'd watch over the summer, and if I liked it, I'd invest myself in Season 2. BUT, they haven't released the DVD yet - how stupid is this? The only reason I'm going to watch Lost this season, is because I am able to go through the entire first sesason BEFORE season 2 starts... now, why would i watch G.A.? I have no clue what's going on, and there's no good way for me to catch up (I hate network synopsis pages.) I know this is supposed to be the next big show, but so far I am unimpressed enough with the handling of the logistics, that it may be removed from my fall schedule.

Lost High Point: Alias type cliffhangers and sci-fi suspense.
Lost Low Point: The frustration of Alias type questions that look like they won't be answered for seasons at a time (but its a good kind of frustration!)

Hallelujah

This upcoming fall season it seems that Network Television is finally giving us some scripted television - thank god. There is nothing I hated more than this reality TV hell we've been going through for almost a decade. Maybe its because I've hated TV for so long, or maybe its just because I'm an optimist, I have to say - I am REALLY excited for this upcoming season. I even spent an entire Sunday afternoon drafting an excel spreadsheet showing what I'm going to be watching. Thank god for TiVo though, as there are a lot of conflicting shows! Anyway, here are my top picks for both new shows and returning shows. For returning shows, I'm only putting the top picks for shows which I think are totally under-valued.... otherwise, see the graphic for my full line up... We'll see if I'm right in a few weeks!

New Shows:

1. Reunion, Fox, Thursdays, 9pm
2. Invasion, ABC, Wednesdays, 10pm
3. My Name is Earl, NBC, Tuesdays, 9pm

Returning Shows:

1. Alias, ABC, Thursdays, 8pm
2. Las Vegas, NBC, Mondays, 9pm
3. The Office, NBC, Tuesdays, 9:30 pm
4. Scrubs, NBC - Coming back in January!

Try skipping breakfat fatty.

Nobody knows what I have to live with.

M watched Beautiful People again last night. She's currently watching that abortion of a movie, The Wedding Date. 15 year old girls have better taste. The sad part is I know I will also probably have to give her the TV for the beginning of football season, so she can watch the OC.

Also, I was flipping around during the FSU-Miami game last night (which may have been the worst big time college football game ever) and I noticed that the "super hot" girl on "My Super Sweet 16" was fat. I love it when that happens. It makes me laugh. All her money isn't going to change the fact that she'll be some guy's last resort at the end of the night in a couple years. You know she secretly hates herself inside.

Try skipping breakfat fatty

Season Finale of Entourage

Overall, I thought it was fairly solid. I'm glad Mandy Moore is finally gone, though it sickened me to see Vince act like a little bitch about having broken up with her after only dating her for two weeks. The whole storyline was just not credible. Ditto with Ari having a heart to heart with E right before he thought E was about to become a rival agent at the company that just fired him. Who amoung us could doubt that at that moment Ari would probably rip his face off.

However, the episode was pretty funny. I really enjoy seeing Ari get chauffered around in that monstrosity from The Fast and The Furious

High Point: Ari mocking Shawna

Low Point: Vince acting like a little bitch

Judging MetroNorth Railroad and the MTA

I'd like to take a quick break from judging TV shows to judge the MetroNorth Railroad, the commuter rail from New York City to surrounding areas, run by New York's Transit Authority, the MTA. I HATE THEM - they are corrupt, incompetent, and just down right idiotic.

Case 1: I am a long-time commuter, so I normally buy monthly passes. In August, I was away for awhile, and when I returned, I only had 12 days of travel left in the month - so it didn't seem right that I would spend the $184 on a montly pass that I normally use for 20+ days of travel. But after I did the calculations, it turns out that I would actually SAVE $4 to get a monthly, rather than get 2 weeklys - HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT???? What is the point of having weeklys??

Case 2: Yesterday was the first day of the month, and I completely forgot to buy a new pass - normally within the first few days of the month when this happens, the conductors remind you that a new month has started, and take your old pass so that you remember to get a new pass. INSTEAD, they refused to take my pass, and charged me $14 for a ONE-WAY ticket - this is ON TOP of the $184 I have to still spend on my monthly. IT IS SUCH B.S.

Case 3: The MTA sucks.

You know - over the years, between my MetroNorth pass and my subway pass, I give close to $275 a month to the MTA - it comes out to a lot over time. You would think they would give some leeway to us frequent fliers - instead, they just try and squeeze every last cent from you. The beauracracy of it all makes me want to cry.

Prison Break

On Monday I watched the first two back-to-back episodes of Fox's new drama Prison Break. I heard that Fox was trying to loosely use the successful format of 24... but it actually seemed to steal every character from The Shawshank Redemption, but make it "grittier":

The 2 main characters are a mix of Tim Robbins, one is wrongly accused, strong and silent, the other is clever enough to both make the right friends as well as to find a way to escape.

There was the Morgan Freeman guy who could get anything you wanted, who seems like he will be a friend to the Tim Robbins guy.

There was the old guy with the pet (this time a cat instead of a bird).

There were the crazy perverted white guy who wants to beat you into submission (literally.)

And the list goes on....

I supposed the question we must ask is: Is the "street" version of the Shawshank Redeption just as good? The answer is simple: No. However, its still better than most dramas on TV, and even though all the main character does is glare and make "I'm Intense" faces for the whole hour, (similar to the face Andy Petite makes right before he pitches), he's pretty good-looking, so I didn't mind watching. I'll keep watching for the season as long as it doesn't conflict with any of my regular shows.

High Point: The plot is pretty interesting, as long as the bad acting doesn't get in the way.
Low Point: The side plot with the ex-girlfriend also investigating the wrongly accused brother is pretty lame. I think its trying to give the show depth outside the prison scenes - but it doesn't work.

I'm Sick

By the way, I fully plan on watching Beautiful People on ABC Family tonight. It can't be helped - I'm fully invested. Sometimes I really hate myself.

My Brain Hurts

Yesterday, I sat down and watched HBO's highly anticipated Rome. Now, I can spew a few quotes from Julius Caesar (i.e. "Beware the ides of March", and the first few lines from Marc Anthony's big speech), but for the most part, I rarely had a clue what was going on in Shakespeare's plays. Despite that, I consider myself a *fairly* intelligent person, and I really, REALLY liked Gladiator, so I figured that TV would once again come to the rescue and dumb down the plot enough so that I could pretend that I was watching historical fiction (instead of a really cool action-movie type mini-series.)

It turns out that I'm not so much "fairly intelligent" - but more likely "quite stupid". Throughout the hour, I was leaning forward, trying really hard to like the show, but kept getting lost in the characters, sub-plots, historical versus fictional references.... etc. T had not read Caesar, so every once in awhile, I would tell him with a knowing nod - "THAT name was important - we should remember that character." When he asked why, I just pretended to be so completely engrossed with the show that I didn't hear him (I'll be honest, I don't think it worked, because he had that "you're-an-idiot" look on his face whenever I did this.)

Yes, I will keep watching this mini-series because I so desparately want to like it - as long as there's no pop quiz at the end, just like high school, I'm pretty sure I can fake my way through.

High Point: The opening credits were awesome and I have to admit I liked the gore as much as the romantic plot lines.
Low Point: I feel like a 6 year old trying to read War and Peace.

No More Monologues!

Watched the 2nd episode of Real Time with Bill Maher late Friday night after stumbling home completely hammered.

I'm a dork.

At any rate the show was fine and is too political to really discuss here, but Eve Ensler was on the panel and everytime she spoke, she kept saying that women were actually now worse off in the new Iraqi regime. T considers himself to be liberal, but seriously, that has to be the dumbest argument in the history of mankind. As her inane diatribe continued, I suddenly remembered that she was also the women responsible for writing The Vagina Monologues, which if you don't know, is probably the worst way to spend 3 hours. After realizing this, an all consuming hatred washed over me. Just before I could throw a bowling ball through my television, I remembered that I was completely hammered and decided to pass out instead.

High Point: Any time Eve Ensler wasn't speaking

Low Point: Eve Ensler. The Vagina Monologues sucks. I don't care how "intellectually enlightened" you are, that play has no redeeming qualities. Even M hates it, and she watches every single episode of Sex in the City (which actually is the same thing as The Vagina Monologues. It's ugly women talking about sex.)

Hitched!

Jon Stewart makes Christopher Hitchens look like a little bitch:

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/08/25.html#a4634

Happy Happy times.

Alias

Alright boys and girls... Alias has finally posted the synopsis for their season premier, and I can't be any more excited! For those of you who don't watch Alias... well, no precise threat can be made, since you're already punishing yourselves.

Last seaons was a little bit of a low for me, but the season finale was jaw-dropping, and I'm hooked all over again. Anyway, here is what ABC posted:

Thursday, September 29 at 8/7c

In the season premiere episode, after learning that the man she has known as Michael Vaughn is under investigation and suspected of being a double agent, Sydney begins to question whether their business and personal relationship over the years had all been a lie. When she discovers that she's pregnant with Vaughn's baby, she becomes determined to uncover the truth about him. Meanwhile, because of Jack's past betrayal by Irina, he begins to worry that his daughter may suffer the same fate that he did.

This season, new agents will be introduced and a nefarious organization will come to light in Sydney's life as she fights to protect her unborn child -- all the while traveling incognito, outsmarting the bad guys and keeping the world safe.

This is one of the best written shows - EVER. If you do anything, watch this show once - you'll be hooked for life.

Forecasted High Point: Michael Vartan playing the Bad Boy!
Forecasted Low Point: Jen Garner's pregnancy dictating the script.

It Turns Out They CAN Dance

3 words: I love this show (okay,that was 4). I'll admit it (even though T has already outed me)- I had a little So You Think You Can Dance party last night. We bitched about every little thing, and judged these people as if we knew what we were talking about - and I loved every minute. Here are the top 5 things I like to bitch about:

1. What is UP with Snow's eyebrows?
2. I hate Blake. I know that the directors are purposefully trying to make him the bad guy, and that he is probably the best dancer, but I hate him anyway.
3. The only person I hate more than Blake is the clean cut hip-hop judge - he is entirely too self-satisfied.
4. Why is Nick so dumb? All he can say is "Wow".
5. What was with the new age jazz choreographer's dog in the audience? It looked like a deformed Ewok.

What got annoying was the 10 hours of commentary after each performance. I wish they would cut this show down to an hour (2 hours is entirely too long) and muffle the judges, instead just asking them to show number from one to ten, a la the Olympics. But, thanks to my best friend TiVo, and it became the perfect show.

High Point: Judging lots and lots of people (I LOVE to judge people)
Low Point: T whining every two seconds (but I notice he never actually left the room....)

Boys Don't Cry

OH WAIT! Of course they do! That's what you'd think if you watched the 4th episode of So You Think You Can Dance. I'm embarressed to say that I'm the only straight man in America who watched this show last night. This was mainly because M threw a little So You Think You Can Dance party so that everyone could comment on the routines and outfits. The insipid babble made me want to claw my eyes out with a melon baller.

This show is awful. Mind-bendingly awful. Not only that. . .but it's LONG. It's 2 hours!!! I've been on Greyhound bus rides that have been more exciting. Words cannot express my seething hatred for this show.

High Point: I like watching the non-offensive Asian host drool all over the gay male contestants. I hope she ends up sleeping with one of them

Low Point: After watching this show I'm not sure I can technically be referred to as a "man"

This Little Piggy...

Gosh T, you really got me there. I mixed up Snowball's and Napoleon's characters. Wow, am I embarrassed. I wish I went to a fancy liberal arts school like you so I could be so well-read. Tsk-tsk on M.

M is Very Literary

And when M says that "Snowball" is the bad guy in Animal Farm, she of course is incorrect. It's so cute when M tries to throw around sophisticated literary knowledge.

Passing Grade for Campus Confidential

ABC Family's Campus Confidential was "not bad". I have to say, much better acting than Beautiful People, but it would be hard not to top that show. Again, it paid homage to Mean Girls, but added a few novel things that cracked me up: for example, besides the obvious A-List cliques of the cheerleaders, jocks, pretty people...etc, they had the "Fab Five" clique, with the fashionable gay guys. Casting was well done - I liked that Peg Bundy was the understanding Mom - haven't heard from her since Futurama got cancelled. Also Cornelia, who played the good guy-turned-evil, was basically the same character she played in the WB's Jack & Bobby.

The best part of the whole thing was when I realized that this movie was trying to be a modern day Animal Farm... at first I thought they were being subtly clever about the whole thing - until the last scene where the writers threw it in your face with an oral book report and meaningful glances at the Snowball-type offender. All in all, I would give the movie an acceptable "C+".

High Point: When the school tabloid "inned" the head of the Fab Five - yes I saw it coming from 5 miles away, but it was still pretty funny.
Low Point: I enjoyed a made-for-TV movie that was aimed at a tween audience...

Stones, Glass Houses.... etc

I will judge Campus Confidential once it has been (successfully) TiVo'd and watched.

As for individual TV schedules, T's TiVo schedule goes something like this:

PTI (no judgement)
Laguna Beach - the Real OC (how old are you? 12?)
My Super Sweet 16 (really?)
Real World (which everyone else in the world stopped watching about 5 years ago)

High Point: T singing the Super Sweet 16 theme song
Low Point: T talking about the Real World characters as if they were... well, real.

M's Viewing Habits Hurt Everyone

Here is the description of Campus Confidential from ABCfamily.net:

Violet (Carlson Romano) is in for the shock of her life when she goes from urban to suburban with her mom (Sagal) and finds a drastic difference between schools. Not only is there a popular crowd, but even the teachers show blatant favoritism. With her acerbic wit and acute sense of social justice, Violet decides to take matters into her own hands and use her first amendment right by starting a school tabloid with her new friend Cornelia (Keri Lynn Pratt, “Jack & Bobby”) exposing the embarrassing secrets of the popular kids that rule the school. Along the way she mistakenly publishes information on her only crush (Teddy Dunn, “Veronica Mars”), and soon finds out that the pen is mightier than the sword. Now Violet must try to heal the deep wounds she has cast.

I hope everyone learns a valuable lesson in the end. This seems to me to be less of a movie of the week and more of a pointed social commentary.

Forecasted High Point: Me preventing this from Tivoing

Forecasted Low Point: Listening to M complain about me stopping it from Tivoing. You have no idea how annoying this is going to be.

Addictions Hurt Everyone

Did I watch another episode of Beautiful People last night? Yes. But in my defense, I was a little bit drunk, which definitely made the episode more interesting... no it didn't, that's a total lie. Actually, it still was the worst thing on TV... HOWEVER, you'll be glad to know that the commercials for the ABC Family movie "Campus Confidential" caught my eye, and that will be TiVo'ing tonight. I just have a good feeling about this one...

Also, in defense of my previous Entourage blog, T basically repeated everything I had said using different words. Maybe T can come up with an original blog for once?

High Point: Commericals for Campus Confidential
Low Point: Ruined my buzz

Good Morning Saigon

The Greek tragedy that was M missing the 3rd episode of So You Think You Can Dance has thrown the blog into chaos. Despite all the theatrics, M has taken me off suspension and allowed me to start posting again. It's interesting how I had to sit through another episode of Beautiful People again last night, but Entourage has one poor episode and M ends up making all sorts of "jump the shark" claims.

Sunday's episode continued the recent trend of below-average episodes. The Sundance Kids was clearly the best episode in the series, and I think the show has had some trouble transitioning. The Mandy Moore angle is terrible. I fail to see why a character like Vince would get caught up by Mandy Moore of all people. It's like the writers thought they needed to bring conflict and depth to Vince's character when the truth of the matter is that Vince's whole character is based on a lack of depth! Also, the fact that E's new girlfriend is alot hotter than Mandy Moore is completely underscoring the ridiculousness of the situation.

Overall though, there were a few highlights. Ari was incredible as usual, and it was funny to see a reanimated Beverly D'angelo come out of hiding. Where did they find her? I thought they only take her out of carbon freezing for Chevy Chase movies.

High Point: Beverly D'angleo, Walsh scoring QB with a sitar, Ari
Low Point: Vince and Mandy, Vince and Mandy, Vince and Mandy, Vince and Mandy, Vince and Mandy, Vince and Mandy, Vince and Mandy, Vince and Mandy, Vince and Mandy

Judging T

So, here is where I planned to write my latest update on So You Think You Can Dance - but T messed up our TiVo settings, and it did not record last night. Nice job T - you are a moment ruiner.

Beautiful People

Okay - I've hit a new low point in my television watching career. ABC Family's Beautiful People is one of the worst shows I've ever seen. Yes, I realize that I should have guessed this by the mere fact that it was on the ABC Family channel, but I got hooked by the poster across the street and thought I might like it. Its like a weird mixture of Mean Girls, Cruel Intentions and Gilmore Girls - but somehow not interesting at all. Basically a mother and her two daughters move to New York City from New Mexico, and all kinds of "crazy" situations ensue.

High Point: None. Not one single high point.
Low Point: The whole damn show.

Entourage Peaked?

Has HBO's Entourage already jumped the shark? Signs point to yes. In last night's episode, nothing happened. I've already forgotten 90% of the so called plot. This show was supposed to provide Marky-Mark's insider view of young, egotistical Hollywood - a completely shallow indulgence to top off our weekends... and now we're getting stuck with a sappy (and out-of-character) love story. I'm so disappointed, that it's not even worth the hassle for me to write anything else.

High Point: Ari (unarguably the best character on the show)

Low Point: Any dialogue that occured between, about or around Vincent Chase & Mandy Moore.

Starved

Okay, so I'm getting desperate for the summer re-runs/reality hell to finish, so I TiVo'd the new show on FX, Starved. The show follows four friends who are in a dysfunctional eating disorder group - the motto of the group is "Its not okay". The friends characters seem intersting enough: a fat husband, a bulemic cop, an anorexic performer (not clear if she just dances or if she also sings?), and a compulsive chocolate cake eating (but really anorexic) generic business guy. I've watched 2 episodes so far - the first one started off with a hilarious scene that included quotes like: "If you were a dog, I'd kick you in the face." Episode 2 still had some pretty funny scenes, but started getting a little too emotional.

This show seems to be following a new trend of comedy-slash-drama, but tends to lean more on the drama side. The comedy scenes are some of the most hilarious that I've seen on cable TV, but the drama so hammed up that it makes me want to punch myself, so that's a shame. Also, as a warning - the scenes can get pretty grotesque at time - i.e. you actually see the cop throw up (not just the motions) and there is a pretty disgusting hospital scene after a "colonic". It probably won't make it on my permanent rotation during the 2005-2006 schedule unless it stops taking itself so seriously - but its enough to feed my hungry TiVo during the summer doldrums.

High Point: The Carrot Comparison scene in episode 1 (obviously, has more to it than just orange vegatables.)

Low Point: The pushy gay father who drove his pretending-to-be-gay-for-her-fans-but-really-is-straight daughter to anorexia/bulemia.

So You Think You Can Dance II

I didn't need to watch the first two episodes of So You Think You Can Dance to know that it would suck. As it was, I only watched the last 5 minutes of episode II (the so called "high point") and learned that it sucked.

As I watched the contestants flail their arms around like posessed Raggedy Ann dolls, I couldn't help but notice that same Stepford Wife grin the contestants have on their faces. It's even more creepy when you look at the faces of the emaciated white guys. Why can't they look normal? It's like people on Broadway, except it's got like an added sick desperation to it. It's almost as if their faces say: "Please like me. . . because if you don't all the times I stuck my finger down my throat are going to be rendered moot." It makes my skin crawl, and not in a good way.

High Point: I guess some of the girls are remotely attractive. Not attractive enough to keep watching though.

Low Point: Everything else

So You Think You Can Dance

I just finished watching the first two episodes of So You Think You Can Dance, the new dance-y version of American Idol on Fox. The show was watchable only because I was able to TiVo through the blah-blah-blah - I struggled so much to be a dancer - sob-sob-sob parts. The snippets of dance scenes are fun to watch, but they seemed far and few between - but I suppose that the actual competition is yet to begin, so hopefully it will get better. What I doubt will get better (and promises to get worse actually) is all the so-called world famous choreographers trying to be the new Simons, (with a twist of Donald to boot). You could tell that "New School Hip Hop Guy" was just dying to yell "You're Fired."

High Point: The last scene in episode 2 where the final 16 all do their little 5 second solo - at least its dancing instead of hackneyed and over-rehearsed monologues....

Low Point: Watching the dancers start bawling during a contemporary dance workshop in episode 1 because they digged deep into their soul and found themselves while dancing (was I supposed to be crying too? I was just staring in awe at the idiocy.)